Having been a guest on FASD Success podcast with host Jeff Noble last year, it was inevitable there would be a time when I would get to meet him in person. If you missed that podcast then you can listen here: Episode 114 - FASD Success Show. Hosting a podcast myself with a similar style – insert some humour and it is more relatable to the listener, I was struck by a number of similarities between myself and Jeff, so when I was invited by Jeff to be a guest at his training event in Ayr, Scotland last week, I jumped at the chance. 

Jeff is based in Canada, so this was quite a big event for Scotland, his first time in the UK, with a number of countries already visited around the world. The majority of those attending the event were parents or carers of children and young people with FASD, those with a professional interest and a number of large and small organisations sent representatives and that precious and very important presence of some adults living with FASD also attended. 

“FASD 1oh!1 – Bringing it back to Brain” was well attended with everyone hanging on to each word that Jeff said, the real life stories he shared, including how he got into the FASD world. It wouldn’t be fair for me to give any of that away on this blog, as those are Jeff’s stories to tell but I did have some “aha” moments from the day – the biggest aha moment was to be in a room with others who understood me, not just as someone who works in Irelands only FASD organisation, but also as a parent. It was a validating experience. 

There were lots or relatable points during the day, but none more so than how we use language. I am not sure where this came in the day, but I feel like it is a very important point that he made on the use of the word ‘Behaviour’. A word that we all regularly use, and which can be related to ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’ because that is what we hear. A simple change of wording from ‘behaviour’ to ‘symptom’ changes our perception of how a child or young person with FASD is dealing with what is being thrown at them, given that they have a condition where the symptoms are often seen as behaviours. 

Parents and carers are regularly judged on their parenting styles and techniques, the whole world over, we all parent differently. Parents and carers of someone with FASD will hold a number of strategies that work for them, but to someone on the outside, this may be seen as ‘enabling’. No consequences, no telling off etc. For that family it could be the difference between an extreme escalation in symptoms that results in some form of violence (just one example) as a child/young person finds themselves unable to deal with a situation and unable to articulate that like someone with a neuro typical brain function. This is not enabling – it is Accommodating – and simply put it makes life easier for the child/young person. 

One final thing that struck me was the messaging from Jeff in terms of his thoughts on alcohol... Jeff doesn't actually partake in alcohol, but his message "I am not anti-alcohol, I am pro planning pregnancy". This really struck with me, because I think when we work in this sector it is extremely easy to fall into the belief that FASD is always associated to addiction and abuse. I have yet to meet any Mother who set out to intentionally harm their Child, and I am a firm believer in choice. It was not something I had thought of before, and for me I think if you are part of the problem then you are part of the solution.

There were so many other great areas covered during that day, and I would unlikely be able to do them as much justice as Jeff would himself, so it does go without saying that if you get the chance to hear more from Jeff yourself, then I would highly recommend doing just that. 

A shout out to Oshays Brain Domain who hosted the event with Jeff, Aliy Brown, who it was great to catch up with after 4 years who was the original FASD Hub project lead in Scotland, Judith Knox now working at FASD Fife (my home county) and lastly to the amazing adults who spent the time with us on the day and shared some of their experiences – including our very own Maggie May. 

You can listen to another quick podcast with Jeff, which I recorded with him once the day was finished, where we had a discussion about why our kids swear, drinking culture and the difference between countries. And a few laughs: The A&F Podcast - with Jeff Noble